The Winter of My Soul

the winter of my soul

Long time, no words.

Though I haven’t written here in too long, I’ve definitely not forgotten this blog.

In fact, I’ve “thought” many posts, but never written them.

In a way, I’ve been like a dormant tree in winter. I still have life in me, but not much to show for it on the outside.

I’ve spent my winter wrestling and quieting and wrestling more and quieting again.

I’ve wrestled with the sin that so easily besets.

I’ve wrestled with insecurity.

I’ve wrestled with the unknown of this empty nest season where I now find myself. I thought it would look so different from what it does and I thought I’d be much more certain of what I’m supposed to do with my life.

I’ve wrestled with relationships with family and friends, as well as the loss of some family members.

And I’ve most definitely wrestled with this blog and all the other writing that I do, and with thoughts that I don’t really have anything worthwhile to say.

But I’ve also spent my winter enjoying quietness.

I’ve been quiet before the Lord, enjoying daily fellowship with Him in the mornings.

I’ve learned the quiet grace that meets us in the hard. . . and the lonely. . . and the unknown.

I’ve learned the quietness of receiving uncrowded days from the Lord and being okay to relax, to take a nap, to enjoy the simple things in life.

I’ve come to know the quiet forgiveness He offers when I fail, and slowly tiny step by tiny step, I’m learning to forgive myself when I utterly blow it.

And I’ve come to understand the beauty of a quiet life. I listen more (and better I hope!). I notice more, like the red cardinal on the barren winter tree, the hum of the furnace, the subtle social nuances that reveal what people really feel.

So, I find myself wanting different things for me, for this blog.

Things will be changing here.

I can’t tell you exactly how, though regular blog posts will definitely be part of the change.

Some posts will be deleted too.

I think what I really want is simple, unhindered words to flow.

And on that note, I invite you to read my revised “about” page.

It’s my start of something new.

 

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Comments

  1. Welcome back! I look forward to reading more. Our youngest graduates in a few short months (homeschool) and I wonder what life will look like then. We’ve taught all of our children (oldest is 23) and it has been such a part of us I’m not sure what to think. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for both of us!

    • Deanna, what an exciting time for you! I know you’ve done your job well and God has some awesome things in store for you. Looking forward to hearing about them!