A Time to Say "No"

At midnight the cry rang out: "Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!"

Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, "Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out."

"No," they replied, "there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves." Matthew 25:6-9

Life as a writer can be very interesting. People make a lot of assumptions about writers. They assume we sit twiddling our thumbs all day. They assume we have all the time in the world. And they assume that they can dump all sorts of problems right in the middle of our schedule because, after all, we don't have anything to do. I'm not sure how they account for the things we write. I guess they just magically appear somehow.

This week I was approached about a legitimate need. Unfortunately, to fill that need would mean that I'd have to push aside the things that I absolutely know that I've been called to do at a time when fulfilling those things is crucial. I was torn and quite upset. However, after talking with some wiser folks (John and my mom) I saw the full picture a little better.

The need was legitimate, but it was brought about because some people had chosen not to prepare, not to fulfill their duties, not to keep their priorities straight, very much like the foolish young ladies in Matthew 25 who didn't buy enough oil to keep their lamps burning until the bridegroom arrived. If I ran to the rescue I'd be forsaking what I was supposed to be doing right now and also letting those folks off the hook of their responsibilities. Not good!

Learning to say, "No," can be really difficult, but if we plan to do God's will it's a necessity. Otherwise, people will keep us so busy that we will never get around to doing what God wants us to do. That's not to say that we shouldn't be flexible and helpful, but like the five wise young ladies in Matthew 25 we need to keep our priorities straight. Those girls weren't being selfish when they refused to share their oil, they were protecting their priorities.

Just because someone opts not to prepare for life doesn't mean we are obligated to pick up their slack. Just because people make a bunch of poor choices in life doesn't mean we have to step in and bail them out all the time. Just because people choose to squander their money or go into deep debt doesn't mean we have to open up our pocketbooks and dole it out. Just because something needs fixing doesn't mean we're the ones to fix it. We especially don't need to do these things if it prevents us from fulfilling God's will in our own lives.

We're all called to love, to serve, to help, to sacrifice, but we're also called to obey. Sometimes the best way to do all of those things is to simply say, "No."