Mismatched Marriage

Have you ever thought you married the wrong person? Oh, come on now and stop being so hyper spiritual. I'm quite certain that every married person could say that at least once in their marriage that thought has crossed their mind.

Today I want to look at one of the most mismatched marriages in the Bible and encourage you that even if you wake up every day thinking you married the wrong person, God is still in control. He can take what appears to be doom and gloom and work the situation into something wonderful.

Let's look at Abigail and Nabal in I Samuel 25. I'm not going to recap the whole story, but I'd highly recommend that you read it for yourself. First, let's list the qualities Nabal brought to the union.

Nabal
-Extremely wealthy (vs.2)
-Surly and mean (vs.3)
-Greedy (vs.10-11)
-Rude (vs.10-11)
-Poor judgment (vs.10-11)
-No one could talk to him (vs.17)
-His name meant folly (vs.25)
-Foolish (vs.25)
-Wicked (vs.25)
-Oblivious to trouble (vs.36)
-Party animal (vs.36)
-A heavy drinker (vs.36)

Makes you just want to run out and scoop him up, huh? Why do I think this was an arranged marriage and not a situation where Abigail was swept off her feet by all his charms?

Then we have dear Abigail.

Abigail
-Beautiful and intelligent (vs.3)
-Trusted by her servants (vs.14-17)
-Generous (vs.18-19)
-Not a procrastinator (vs.18)
-Quick thinker (vs.14-31)
-Took action to save her husband's life (vs.14-31)
-Wise (vs. 14-31, 36)
-Humble (vs.23-25)
-Respectful (vs. 23-31)
-Abreast of current events (vs. 26-31)
-Knew when to speak and when to hold her tongue (vs.36)
-Didn't try to reason with drunks (vs.36)

As the story goes, Nabal ends up dying and Abigail becomes David's wife.

Sometimes I've heard Abigail portrayed as an unsubmissive wife because she took matters into her own hands when her husband's life was in danger. Yet, I find it interesting that the word of God explicitly points out in I Samuel 25:3 that she was both beautiful and intelligent. I Samuel 25 is merely a chronicle of how she used that brain of hers to change the situation for the better. Plus, if you read about King David's life you'll discover that out of all his wives, Abigail never gives him trouble. And we know that his sons were a wild and unruly bunch, but Abigail's son is never listed among those that created trouble. If she was lacking in submission or the domineering sort it would have showed up in her marriage with King David too.

Back to the ending of the story. If you're in an unhappy marriage you're probably wishing you could have a similar ending to Abigail right about now. That's not the right attitude to have about your marriage regardless of how hard it is to live with your Nabal or Paul or Billy Bob. What is the right attitude? Trust God. Do good. Love your spouse with I Corinthians 13 type of love. Allow God to use the situation to develop your character. If you feel you're in danger or just can't do this on your own, then get help. By simply shifting your focus away from the problems and onto God you open up the door for God to work in your marriage and in your life.

Does that mean everything will turn out rosy? Not necessarily. But it paves the way for God to work in whatever way He desires to work and He will always work for your good.